I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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