I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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