At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
