so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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