so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
