And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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