I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
