How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
