I wish i was in the wii world.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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