No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
