I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
