if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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