I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
