"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
