So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
