he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
