nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
