She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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