Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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