no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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