my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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