ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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