Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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