and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
