The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
