Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize