I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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