she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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