he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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