I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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