im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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