we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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