I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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