remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
