So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
