Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
