Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
