i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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