i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
