wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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