Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
