So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
