I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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