it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
