He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
