anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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