so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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