I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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