why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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