with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
