My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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