drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
cat food counts as protein by the way
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
