forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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