we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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