everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
