I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
